Rooidoppie

(This extract from Strandveld Private Investigators is based on an encounter I had with a man outside Bluebottle Liquors. For those who don’t know the stuff, a rooidoppie is a plastic bottle of wine. It is kept under the counter.)

Because Sedrick needed to buy a bottle of Jack Daniels, Monty pulled up in front of the liquor store. While Sedrick was making his purchase, a man sidled up to the driver’s side. He looked like John the Baptist before he became a Baptist. He seemed kind of dehydrated and weak on his feet, like he had been in the desert without a hat and no water. He asked Monty for the three rand he was short in order to buy a rooidoppie. Monty told him to fuck off and stop polluting the environment. The fellow leaned in close, checked Monty straight in the eye, and laid a pearl of wisdom on him.

“Boet,” he said, “Beware the Day of Judgement! The Lord is going to fuck you over big time.”