This Little Piggy Went to Market

Taken in Bangkok, Thailand in 2019. (Credit: Jo-Anne McArthur/We Animals Media for The Guardian)

Farmers are practical people. In South Africa the expression ‘n boer maak ‘n plan means that a farmer will always be able to improvise a solution to any problem that he might encounter.

Okkie van Tonder of the farm Stinkvlei situated between Van Brakel’s and Caledon believed in diversity. He grew canola, wheat and barley, and he had over a hundred sheep as well as a small herd of cattle. He also kept some poultry and five pigs.

When one of his cows went missing, the suspicion that it had been stolen made him angry. His mood went from bad to worse when he discovered that his biggest pig was infested with tapeworm. That meant it would be rejected when he took it to the abattoir. He banged his fist down on the bonnet of a vehicle and cursed aloud in the Afrikaans language. 

The situation deteriorated further when a worker informed him that the cow had been found lying in the vlei. Because it had been dead for several days it could not be butchered and sold for human consumption. Close to despair, Okkie van Tonder fell to his knees and prayed to God for mental strength.

In the morning he awoke and knew what to do in order to salvage something from the disaster that had befallen him. He would slaughter the pig himself and sell the meat to the people in the African township near Caledon. The dead cow could be cut up with his chain saw and the meat could be used to fatten the remaining pigs.

He was aware of a pig’s right to be slaughtered in a humane fashion and agreed that the animal should be stunned before its throat was cut. However, he did not possess a captive bolt stun gun, which was an expensive item. Undaunted, he reasoned that the principle involved was to deliver a powerful blow to the animal’s forehead that would render it senseless but not kill it outright.

He instructed three of his workers to bring the pig to the barn. A large sow that had produced many piglets for him over the years, she was led in by her ears and tail, all the while squealing with pain and terror. Telling his men to stand back, he raised a pick handle on high and brought it down with force on the animal’s head. Unfortunately, his aim was not quite true, striking her on the neck and not the skull. She fell to her knees, her mouth and eyes open wide,  and the second blow hit her squarely on the top of her head.

After her throat had been cut and she had been bled, he sawed off her head and feet and left his men to butcher the carcass.

The following day he loaded the meat onto his bakkie, drove to Caledon, and was able to sell everything at the African market, even the head, trotters and entrails. After making some calculations, he felt pleased with the way things had turned out, and he congratulated himself on his resourcefulness and ingenuity.

(Taken from Fairy Tales and Nursery Rhymes.)

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